gonzo blocking*

Take 8 balls Jamieson & Smith 2ply Jumperweight, mix with needles and beautifully lucid pattern, make lump.


Atone for any possible bad language directed at lump during construction by offering trip to spa.


After gentle spa treatment, address yarn. Swear. Repair hole with safety pin. Fend off cat interest in blocking wires. Take break.


Return upon hearing threats issued to damp wool. Give in to blackmail. Produce cat-distracting treats.


Pin unlump to blanket. Realise blanket needs pinning to floor. Realise have no more pins. Swear. Ransack room for heavy objects. Realise alcohol more useful when not occupied in holding down blanket. Remove (most) bottles and replace with books.


Realise that, unlike Blue Peter presenters, do not have one already made for demonstration and consumption purposes. Swear. Realise have been pinned into corner of room not near door. Swear. Use bottles.

Watch dry. Use bottles. Watch dry. Repeat to end.**

* apologies to Bill Cardoso and Hunter S. (hope you're having fun among the stars)
** apologies to bloggers whose work may have inspired this post